This series started from my love of shadowbox frames, particularly a piece from my previous collection, "Cozy." The gold shape in "Cozy" appears like a distorted shadow of the dark oil pastel outline. For weeks, it hung in my living room, and when it sold, I was inspired to expand the concept to a complete series.
While working on the series, I found myself singing "Shadowboxer" by Fiona Apple. Tidal is easily one of my top five favorite albums, and I've listened to that song hundreds of times. This time, the lyrics caught me in a way they haven't before.
You made me a shadowboxer, baby
I wanna be ready for what you do
And I've been swinging 'round me
'Cause I don't know when you're gonna make your move
I thought of all the imaginary battles I was fighting lately. Punching in the dark at future arguments. Playing out aggressive reactions to perceived slights. Thinking of only negative potential outcomes.
I intended to use acrylic paint and oil pastels as I had in previous works. But as I created the first prototype, I wanted to add more depth, texture, and actual shadows to the piece. I pulled out my embroidery floss and some gold beads, remembering the sewing and cross-stitch lessons my mom gave me as a kid.
In the fully-realized series, each piece contains an element of embroidery or beading. These adornments add both permanence and whimsy. Each hand-sewn stitch must be placed purposefully because removing it would leave a hole in the primed canvas. Whereas the beadwork makes you think of glitter, sprinkles, and jewelry.
Although I typically strive to bring positive energy to my work, that wasn't where my head was at while making this series. I felt challenged, and conflicted, yet hopeful, and the work reflects that.